My desire is only for the chief
by wendyonmyown
Summary: Slightly AU version of the finale, ties in with my Sins of the father and Justice stories. Steve and Catherine deal with the aftermath of the transplant. Rated T for bad language only.


**Slightly au version of the finale, that ties in with Sins of the father and Justice**.

 **This is just a little drabble that's been rolling round in my head since I saw the trailers for the finale. PL has teased that season 7 will see Steve dealing with the aftermath of the transplant etc... so I've expanded on how that might take place.**

My desire is only for the chief.

The helicopter had come from nowhere and before Steve had had a proper chance of responding, it had opened fire. He'd felt the searing pain as the bullets had torn through his flesh, as he'd lost control of the plane. Danny had been calling him as he'd fought to stay awake, and knowing he was losing the battle.

"Danny." Steve managed to get out. He wanted to tell him to take care of Cath and the baby. "I'm gonna die."

"No you're not." He'd heard Danny say before darkness had welcomed him.

Steve could only see darkness around him, but up ahead came a light and he tried to move towards it, but something kept pulling him back. He heard a voice calling to him as he tried to pull himself from the darkness. Fixing on the voice he was able to make out Danny. It was his partner calling to him.

"Steve you have to listen to me, I know you've never been any good at listening to me but right now you have no choice you stubborn son of a bitch. Do not die, you listen to me, do not die. I'm not telling your wife you died. You hear me you stay alive for your wife and son, you understand." Danny shouted at him.

Steve kept trying to call out to him, but he couldn't see where he was in the darkness, maybe he should move towards the light. Then beside him he saw two very familiar faces. "Dad, Aunt Deb." He called, smiling at them.

"Steve, It's not your time." His father told him. "You keep fighting, you hear me champ. You keep fighting."

"Sweetie, Catherine needs you to fight, you can't give up." Deb told him.

"So tired… so cold…" Steve told them.

"You'll be warm soon." Deb whispered to him. "Give my great nephew a kiss when he arrives." She blew him a kiss as she moved backwards towards the light and disappeared leaving him alone with his father.

"Dad," He called.

"I'm here, son. I'll stay with you a while longer." John McGarrett said.

"Dad, I married Catherine and we're going to have a baby." He grinned as his father.

"I know champ. I'm proud of the man you've become." John glanced behind him towards the light before turning back towards Steve. "It's time for me to go." He moved slowly backwards watching Steve.

"Dad, don't leave." Steve called out as his father slowly moved away from him.

"I have too son. Give your mother a chance." John told him as he disappeared into the light.

After his dad and Deb had left him he listened in the darkness, hearing muffled voices from around him. He couldn't make out the voices or the words, but he felt hands touching him. He wanted to fight them off but he couldn't move, his limbs felt heavy as he tried to push them away but he couldn't move; what are you doing to me he called into the darkness, but no sound could be heard.

He felt a feather like touch on his arm, recognising the touch immediately. 'Catherine' He called out in his head.

"I love you Steve, you keep fighting for us. Your son has been really active all day; he's been kicking me like crazy." She told him as she brushed a kiss across his forehead. "I think that's his way of telling Daddy to fight to get better."

Steve smiled at her words as he felt the darkness take him once again.

He slowly came awake, blinking the fogginess from his head as took stock of his surroundings and his injuries. Focusing on his feet, he wiggled his toes and moved his ankles. Okay; next, knees and legs are fine he thought as he felt movement with them. He wiggled his fingers and hands, everything fine there. He could feel the cannula in the back of his hand but that didn't concern him yet. He moved one arm, that's okay, then he moved the other and couldn't help the grunt of pain that came with it.

"Steve, try not to move." Catherine told him with a worried voice as she held him down to stop his movements. "You're in the hospital, you were shot and had to have surgery." She explained quickly.

Steve's eyes shot open to lock on her hazel eyes. He tried to speak but something was stopping him. She smiled at him, still pinning his arms down as he tried to move.

"It's okay. You're on a ventilator to help you to breath, stay still and I'll go and fetch your Doctor." She leaned over him and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

He nodded his head to let her know he'd heard her. She smiled at him again as she made to move from his bedside. He grabbed at her hand before she could leave. He needed to know about Danny, but he couldn't form the words to ask.

Catherine gave his hand a squeeze. "Danny is fine; I'll pop in to let him know your awake once your Doctor has been to see you."

…

1 week later

Catherine watched as Danny was pushed out of the room for his daily physio session, before she entered the room. She wanted to have a private talk with Steve, and didn't want Danny catching any of it. Steve had been pushing her away from him since he'd woken up a week ago. He'd been his bubbly self on the outside with everyone else, but he'd been distant with her.

She had an inkling on what was bothering him, and she planned to have that out with him. After having a brief word with his Doctor yesterday, she was ready to fight this battle. With a deep sigh she slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. Steve was propped up in bed with the T.V remote in his hand as he surfed the channels till he found something to watch.

He heard someone enter and the door close behind them, and just assumed it was a nurse coming to check on him. When the person didn't move towards the bed he turned to look at the new comer.

"Hey." Catherine said as she moved across the room to his bed. She leaned across him to kiss his lips and he moved so she grazed his cheek.

"I wasn't expecting you till later." He told her.

"I know, but I wanted to talk to you without an audience." Catherine told him quietly as she perched on the edge of his bed. She watched as the shutters came down on his emotions.

"I understand, Catherine." He knew what she wanted to say, had even prepared himself for her leaving him for good this time.

"Just what do you think you understand, Steve. Because I can tell you know it's not what you're thinking." She said in a quiet voice.

He swallowed before answering her. "I know you want out of our marriage, your leaving." He said sadly.

"You know you can be incredibly dense at times. I'm not going anywhere. I meant every word I said to you when I married you. In sickness and in health." She reminded him.

"That was before this." He said pointing down at his transplant scar.

"You think that makes a difference to me?" She asked in disbelief.

"It should. You know I can't stay in the SEAL's because of the transplant." He pointed out.

Catherine tampered down the anger that she was feeling before snapping at him. "You wasn't a SEAL when we met, did it stop me from fucking you?"

"That was different." He snapped at her.

"Like hell it was. I fell in love with Steve McGarrett the man, not Lieutenant Commander McGarrett." She sobbed out, swiping at the tears that fell. "I nearly lost you twice a week ago, and I'll be damned if I'll let you push me away because you'll be medically discharged from the SEAL's."

"I've spent half my life in the Navy, and a third of it as a SEAL, Cath." He shouted out, wiping a hand across his face as the tears fell. "I don't know anything else." He said with a sob.

Catherine moved forward pulling him into her embrace as he let himself cry. She rubbed soothing circles on his back as she told him quietly. "If you want to stay in the reserves there are other career paths you can choose. I'll support whatever decision you make, Steve. I'll be here for you every step of the way."

Catherine heard the door open and close realising that Danny must be back from his physio session. She glanced towards his bed to greet him only to discover he wasn't there.

…

Danny was just about to enter the hospital room that he was sharing with Steve when he saw his best friend crying on Catherine's shoulder. He'd instantly indicated to the orderly to wheel him back out of the room to give the couple some space.

Danny had seen his partner pushing Catherine away all week, he'd been extremely distant with her. He had tried to get Steve to open up and talk to him but he'd completely shut him down, Steve had insisted everything was fine, even though Danny knew that it wasn't. Danny sighed to himself as the orderly wheeled him towards the nurse's station.

"Detective Williams, you're supposed to be back in bed." The nurse pointed out in an annoyed tone.

"I know, but Steve and his wife are having a private conversation; I'd like to give them a little privacy." Danny explained with a charming smile at the nurse.

"Danny?" Catherine called as she left the room, spotting the blonde Detective by the nurse's station.

"Hey, did you sort super SEAL out?" He asked as he moved his wheelchair in her direction.

"Yeah, I need to talk to you Danny." She declared.

"Okay." He agreed as he directed the wheelchair towards a row of chairs in the corridor.

"Thanks." Catherine said as she took a seat. "I need you to do something for Steve."

"Anything, you know that." He readily agreed, there was nothing he wouldn't do for Steve; he'd given the man half of his liver for god's sake.

"Stop calling him super SEAL. Due to having transplant surgery, Steve will eventually be medically discharged from the SEAL's. He's taking it pretty hard, Danny." Catherine confided.

"God I didn't realise." Danny said, finally understanding where his partners head had been for the past week. "Is that why he's been pushing you away?

"Yeah. I think in that thick head of his he believed I'd leave him because of it." Catherine smiled a sad smile at Danny as she shared her husband's thoughts.

"Idiot." Danny muttered about his partner before speaking again. "You know everyone keeps asking how Steve is, but how are you really holding up?"

Catherine gave a snort. "You know you're a wonderful friend to the both of us. Here you are after giving my husband half of your liver to save his life for a second time and you're asking how I am." She shook her head in amazement at Danny's loyalty and kindness. "I'm holding up okay, Danny."

"You're sure?" He asked.

She nodded her head in confirmation. "Yeah. I just needed to have this out with Steve, make him understand that I wasn't going anywhere and that I'd support any decision he made with the Navy." Catherine leaned over to hug Danny as she spoke. "Thanks for saving my husband's life."

"I'd say it was a pleasure and anytime, but I'm hoping he'll let me keep the other half myself." Danny teased lightly as she stood up.

"Come on, I'll push you back to your room." She told him as she moved behind the wheelchair and began steering him down the corridor.

…

 **THE END**


End file.
